A word by any other meaning...

My friend Guy Whitcroft occasionally shares a few gems on email that I like sharing with the world at large. Here is another gem on the meaning of words.

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4 esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

Lifestyle changes with an electronic nag

Philips has given me a new gadget to try out and I think it rocks. It's called Direct Life and though I've only been using it for around 2 weeks, it is making a difference to my lifestyle.

Before I gush further, it's not a revolutionary idea and yet it is. I am always on a health kick and keep falling off the wagon. I need someone to nag me to make sure I stay on that wagon and this little gizmo does just that. I get the odd email to nudge me to wear it and update my online diary. I also get told how little I need to do to make a small change. It also tells me how LITTLE I've done and lights up like a Christmas tree when I've exceeded my goal. And these goals it sets are achievable and doable. It works it out based on what you can or cannot do.

So far it's lit up like a Christmas tree twice in these two weeks. And my goal is to make it light up every day this week.

One lives in hope.